Change is the difference between was and isChange is not where you are coming from but where you are going
Change is taking courage to be what you have never been before
Change is giving up your old self, making room for a clean slate
Change is giving God your mistakes, your failures, your past
In exchange for wisdom, strength, a future that is forever
Change is the unknown
Not knowing whether He will be with you when you make that choice to choose Him
Not knowing whether you want to loose your home girls,
your home boys that you've known ever since you were five
for The Friend who knows your beginning to your end,
your pain to your healing,
your sin to your salvation
Not knowing whether to stop loving that tune that makes your heart swell with emotion
as it ridicules the real love that Jesus showed you
when those nails pierced his skin whilst looking into your eyes mouthing "This is for you"
Not knowing how Jesus in Heaven lived as Prince,
a King,
a God
Saw a need within us
A need for a Saviour
So He traded
NO!
He made the choice to CHANGE His environment,
chose to leave His Fathers glory,
His home
to come to this earth so that you
Can refuse Him
Can ridicule Him
Can disbelieve Him
Cling to your addiction to this world which does not last
This world whose glories, whose pleasures are but for a moment
This world which thrives on addicts
Addicts of (Enter your lust here)
Refusing to acknowledge the power of the blood of Jesus Christ the Messiah
Refusing to believethat the devil is real
The devil is as real as those lustful thoughts that enter your mind filling it with darkness
Making you assume that you are in control, oh how he easily fooled are you!
But we make his work easier when we think it's easier to believe he is not there
He doesn't need you to believe in him... He needs you to disbelieve in HIM.
The devil caresses your most sinful desires
But thats okay right?
It brings you happiness [short lived]
but doesn't God want you to be happy?
I mean so what if you are replacing the WORLDS creations and putting the name 'Christian' on it, it makes it Godly right ?
See, the devil knows hes going to cease to exist, but he needs you to NOT see what is real
As he clouds your mind enticing you to join him
And join him blindly you do, allowing him to seduce you slowly
Giving you empty fuel for your yearning soul
Soul that needs to be healed from the pain that man caused as he molested you physically when you were but a child
Soul that needs to be protected from all the explicit imagery being filled within your mind through porn addiction
Soul that needs (Enter your pain here)
Soul that needs change
Change is making a journey from your old past to your new future
Change is having the answer to a simple question:
Do you want to make a change for Jesus today?
Tuesday 15 November 2011
Thursday 4 August 2011
Thought 23: Dare to be a Daniel
NOTE: Was a bit rushed. Apologies for Spelling&&Grammar mistakes
Dare to be a Daniel.
What does it mean to dare to be something?
What does that mean if that something is a Daniel?
Quick history recaps:
Daniel and friends were put in a situation where they had to worship a god they didn’t believe in...eat food they didn’t eat...what could they do?
Surely just to keep peace, they could have just pretended to pray...
Surely they could have just eaten that meal...after all you only live once...why not try everything once, right?
Yet.
They chose to be stand up and say NO.
They chose to offend the King and say “Actually, I don't..."
They chose to CHALLENGE the King of a great nation.
Yet we can’t even knock next door to say Jesus loves you.
Dare to stand alone.
Can you ever see yourself making a choice that will single you out from your friends?
Can you ever see yourself being ok with loosing most of those friends because of such a choice?
Are you prepared to stand for what you believe in no matter the consequences?
Are you ready to be named an outcast from the world simply because of your beliefs?
Daniel was thrown in the lion’s den.
Imagine he had a phobia of lions...yet he went in there knowing God is with him...what kind of faith?!
Dare to have a purpose firm
Are we sure of what you believed in?
Or have we downloaded God on our iPhone and inserted what suits us best and how He can work around that?
Are we here to mingle and make BFFs forgetting the forever that’s ACTUALLY promised?
Daniel stood for what he knew was the truth.
What’s our truth?
Dare to make it known
Talk about God?
Nah. I'd rather write about my night out from that rave last night! It was MAD!
Why should you talk to someone else about what you already know?
If they want to know, they can ask right?
We have let society define what we eat, drink, wear, read...basically what we put in our minds.
We have been taught not to let anyone’s thoughts get in the way of who we want to but surely who we want to be is like Jesus Christ who was perfect?
Jesus Christ who walked on this earth regardless of what people thought of the work he had to do, yet he showed a character that came from Heaven above?
Females, we hate to hear about what we wear because all we want is to look good. Because when you look good, that fine brother finally going to look at you twice right?
But who is he seeing, your exposed flesh or the beauty that is inside?
I mean how else is a girl meant to get attention these days?
With all the males surrounding by naked flash that it actually has started losing its appeal.
With all the males so addicted to what a women is meant to offer their husband...but can freely be given. With just a click.
Where are all the Daniels gone?
Where are all the brothers and sisters who are so deep in faith that when questioned, more than proud to show their love for their Christ?
Where are all the people that stand for what they believe in? Not putting 'Christian-the-name' in front of their desires. Yes there is something called 'Pole Dancing for Jesus' (!!!)
How DARE we disrespect the name of Jesus?
How DARE we try and make Jesus accept what we have fallen in love with?
How DARE we idolize the things of the world and expect God to follow our trends?
Dare to be a Daniel
Dare to be Gods Child.
Tuesday 17 May 2011
Thought 22:Whose my best friend ?
 |
| Samantha |
Angry.
Upset.
Sad.
Just want to cry.
But no tears are forming in my eyes.
I want someone to talk to.
I NEED someone to talk to.
But who?
I can't think of a single person that I feel I can speak to right now.
I know my mood is just silly.
And it will pass.
Then I'll be okay again.
But that got me thinking.
Who do I actually turn to when I'm down and upset.
Yes, I have great friends. No point trying to play victim and say noone loves me.
But surely when you feel down there's that one person you know will make you feel better nomatter how small or how serious the problem is.
 |
| Nyorovai |
I mean do I have a person that I can relate with on such a deep level that its as if they know how I'm feeling without me having to open my mouth.
Do any of us have these friends?
Or do we just fool ourselves into believing that we can truly trust people with our lives. When clearly the feelings are never reflected back.
Why do we have a need to want someone so close to speak to.
Is this where God steps in?
He is supposed to be the greatest Friends you have ever had right?
 |
| Lauren |
But why do we still yearn for so much more.
Someone who skin we can feel.
Whose being can be seen with our eyes.
Sometimes I feel like I want so much from my friends. More than they can give. Because I believe that I give my all. Yet I feel like noone gives me their all.
But surely one of my friends would beg to differ and say they feel the same about me.
Friends do come and go, yes I get that. Hell, I push people to go before their time.
 |
| Tapiwa |
Yes, some may proclaim that they prefer their own company. But sooner or later. We all need somebody.
Whether you choose God or a mere human being...
Who really is your best friend?
Who really is your best friend?
 |
| Mweete |
 |
| Taffy |
 |
| Alice |
 |
| Hawawu |
 |
| Anne |
 |
| Patience |
 |
| Essie |
 |
| Sharol |
Sunday 8 May 2011
Writers Block...Writing Blues...Writers Whatever
To be quite frankly honest...I want to write so so much!
I don't want to write little paragraphs anymore...I want to write something big.
Something huge.
I want to go back to story writing.
To writing with so much emotion that made my teachers cry.
But I'm slacking.
Even for just general blogging.
I think this is because most of my inspirations came from emotionally charged events within my life.
Whether it was a good time or bad time. I always found some sort of 'lesson' I'd learnt and would want to share with people. And from there more things would come up.
These days.
I have no idea what is happening with me!
I am getting a few inspirations...but they are not going anywhere.
I don't feel like I am giving my best.
I wish I could find exactly what I want from this writing business.
Am I even a good writer?
I'm not in one of those 'my life is crap' mood.
Just questioning myself on what my interests are and what I want to do them.
All of this had come from the fact that at this right moment in time.
I am likely to be sitting at home everyday for the next four months.
Jobs don't seem to like me.
I have no previous experience.
I don't even know how to 'sell myself' to get jobs.
So I guess, I'm slightly giving up on finding a proper job.
And have had a few ideas for things I could do instead.
But me being me...I can't seem to find the push I need to pursue my ideas further.
I guess my biggest is and has always been 'Is this even a good idea?!'
I know that I wont know until I try, but sometimes it feels to easy to just give up and try look another idea...which I would give up on and so on and so forth.
I love writing.
But I also love singing...yet I can never ever bring myself to even sing in front of a crowd bigger than my family of 7...simply because I tell myself that I am not talented enough.
I know its no use being so negative...but I think I'm scared to face my fears and I have no idea what to do.
As always, I've started with a topic and then digressed into others. Just like in my head...probably why I never get things done...too many ideas and to sure which one to begin with. So why not all of them -_-
Just wish I knew what I wanted and how to get to it.
*Sigh*
I don't want to write little paragraphs anymore...I want to write something big.
Something huge.
I want to go back to story writing.
To writing with so much emotion that made my teachers cry.
But I'm slacking.
Even for just general blogging.
I think this is because most of my inspirations came from emotionally charged events within my life.
Whether it was a good time or bad time. I always found some sort of 'lesson' I'd learnt and would want to share with people. And from there more things would come up.
These days.
I have no idea what is happening with me!
I am getting a few inspirations...but they are not going anywhere.
I don't feel like I am giving my best.
I wish I could find exactly what I want from this writing business.
Am I even a good writer?
I'm not in one of those 'my life is crap' mood.
Just questioning myself on what my interests are and what I want to do them.
All of this had come from the fact that at this right moment in time.
I am likely to be sitting at home everyday for the next four months.
Jobs don't seem to like me.
I have no previous experience.
I don't even know how to 'sell myself' to get jobs.
So I guess, I'm slightly giving up on finding a proper job.
And have had a few ideas for things I could do instead.
But me being me...I can't seem to find the push I need to pursue my ideas further.
I guess my biggest is and has always been 'Is this even a good idea?!'
I know that I wont know until I try, but sometimes it feels to easy to just give up and try look another idea...which I would give up on and so on and so forth.
I love writing.
But I also love singing...yet I can never ever bring myself to even sing in front of a crowd bigger than my family of 7...simply because I tell myself that I am not talented enough.
I know its no use being so negative...but I think I'm scared to face my fears and I have no idea what to do.
As always, I've started with a topic and then digressed into others. Just like in my head...probably why I never get things done...too many ideas and to sure which one to begin with. So why not all of them -_-
Just wish I knew what I wanted and how to get to it.
*Sigh*
Sunday 24 April 2011
Thought 21: Too many thoughts
This is actually a letter to another friend. You know me and my letters. Can't resist.
How dare you ask me to stop thinking too much?
I've begged you to stop messing up over and over again.
I've given you unlimited chances. A fault on my part.
I've tried to understand. I don't come first anymore.
But this time you pushed me to the limit.
How dare you ask me to stop thinking too much.
I wish i could want to apologise for the way i am.
I wish i could just stop wanting you to change back
I wish i could understand why i still wait in hope
I wish I could understand why you still come back to stamp down these hopes
You want me to stop thinking a lot.
You want me to stop thinking about how you used me that one time
You want me to stop thinking about how that made you seem like them
You want me to stop thinking about the knife that is being twisted around my head
Although it may seem this way
I'm not in love with you
I've never been
Yet you read the wrong message from the words I tried to SCREAM
Yet the words fell on your ears like whispers that you never heard
You misread the tears that fell for a damsel in distress
Yet if that had been the case
You never and will never come to my rescue
You want me stop thinking too much.
If that's the case.
Get the hell out of my head.
How dare you ask me to stop thinking too much?
I've begged you to stop messing up over and over again.
I've given you unlimited chances. A fault on my part.
I've tried to understand. I don't come first anymore.
But this time you pushed me to the limit.
How dare you ask me to stop thinking too much.
I wish i could want to apologise for the way i am.
I wish i could just stop wanting you to change back
I wish i could understand why i still wait in hope
I wish I could understand why you still come back to stamp down these hopes
You want me to stop thinking a lot.
You want me to stop thinking about how you used me that one time
You want me to stop thinking about how that made you seem like them
You want me to stop thinking about the knife that is being twisted around my head
Although it may seem this way
I'm not in love with you
I've never been
Yet you read the wrong message from the words I tried to SCREAM
Yet the words fell on your ears like whispers that you never heard
You misread the tears that fell for a damsel in distress
Yet if that had been the case
You never and will never come to my rescue
You want me stop thinking too much.
If that's the case.
Get the hell out of my head.
Friday 22 April 2011
Sunday 3 April 2011
Thought 20: Patience vs What Else
"I don't know what it is about me that kinda chases people away. Everyone says imma nice guy but yet they don't seem to ever wanna stay. Empty words that fall on deaf ears cos I've heard it all before, skip the bull**** flex and just tell me the effing score. Say what's on your mind rather than beating the bush as if to find some long forgotten treasure too huge to measure but worth enough to cause your very large scale procrastination. Suffocation is the outcome. Of my thoughts, feelings, behaviour.
The thing is, the choice here isn't clear cut. Stop waiting and you may have lost something spesh but waiting around seemingly without progress jus makes you feel like a d***head. Its like that loading bar is at a standstill., buffering indefinitely like its connected through Sky broadband.All I need is patience. Or is it? Patience, patience is overrated. It can drive you insane. Being patient is like being tied down with chains, growing pains and emotional plane crashes, waiting to be saved, to be released, hoping this seeming infinite standstill of time will cease.
What makes it worse is the nature of what you're waiting for. The effects of patience varies, waiting for the toilet is a minor and doesn't require much emotional power. Unless you have a weak bladder, in which case you better find a rope or ladder and get into that bathroom. Wating for a heart to transplant into you in order for you to survive, now that requires emotional strength, not to mention the length, of time for something so delicate to fall through. One of the top emotional waits though would be waiting for that one word answer from that one special person. That yes or no, yes i'll have your kids, yes i'll marry you, yes i'll move in with you. Yes i'll be your girlfriend.... Boy thats a killer.
Tbh though i don't think patience plays a part here. Its simply about your emotion, measure of worth. Are your emotions as big and strong as the oceans or as thin and volatile as lotion? How long can it help you hold out for? Slow motion, also known as bullet time, is what occurs when you're being patient. Every second, is like 10 minutes have gone by.
I'm talking too much. The moral of the story is, don't wait forever. No one is worth that. And I don't recommend you test that theory out cos there are no second chances. "
By Chiedozie Ekeoma
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Patience...
What is it about it that makes want to know, to be in the know.?
What is it about waiting that we just cant grasp?
It mixes with our emotions. Plays with nerves.
Is it the 21st century notion that everything must be instant
That we forget that there are things that are worth waiting for.
What do you loose when you wait.
Wait for that anticipated answer.
Yes.
No.
Is it the hope that it is the answer that we hope for
That we want it so eagerly
That we forget. It might disappoint us.
But then again.
Why cant we know what we want to know now.
Why cant people tell you answers as soon as you ask the question.
Because what is there to think about
Its ether yes or no.
Patience...who has the time to have it?
JustPreen(c)
Thought 19: A letter To a Friend
**Warning: Very personal indeed**
I don't know what possessed me to do this but I feel its the only way I can get things of my chest.
I'm done.
I'm done listening to your lies.
I'm done trying to be the best friend I can be to you.
All for nothing.
I get that you have a lot on your plate.
I have never ever disregarded that...
But I am sick and tired of trying to understand what exactly makes you act the way you do.
To the point where I don't know who you are anymore...
I don't think you have ever understood just how much you actually hurt not only me but others around you. Yet it doesn't seem to actually have any effect on you.
Don't get me wrong. I don't hate you. I never will. You are not a bad person. You are one of the most kind people that I know, always thinking of other before yourself. Yet the big major issue: Boys ?!
I hate that your situation with boys seem to come in between us...as if that's all being friends with you is about.
I don't actually want to go on about this. I'm done with you and your guys...I'll never understand why you can't just let guys really like you without you feeling like you have to be in a relationship with any of them. When will you give yourself a chance to be yourself without belonging to anyone else? But hey, that's you...not me.
Maybe its the desire to understand people that has kept me near you. Maybe I'm just a fool. Anyone who has been through most of what myself and others have been through with you, would have at least hated you or something. But I can never and will never bring myself to do that. Its not my point. And will never be.
But all I really want to say is that, you won't see me making any effort anymore to catch up on your life. I'm not a drama-seeking person, as interesting as life can be with drama...I don't wish to create more drama..because that's what I'd end up doing. Just like I talked to your ex..I'd end up wanting to do all that...and looking like a fool when you still go back to all your exes...
I guess we will always be friends that had great memories with one and who knows, maybe one day we might be the best of friends again. Maybe one day, I'll trust you again.
It feels like I'm saying I don't want to be friends you but all it is is...next time you want someone to talk to...even though it is already like this...just know I can't be there for you. I want to be...but I can't do it. And don't think its easy for me to do this. I feel to stop myself from even sending this to you...but I need to let go of you..I've held on too long for a perfect friendship that not only died a long time ago..but actually isn't perfect at all. Sometimes I feel like its also because you and **** are cousins that I still feel that I have to be close to you.
But no. I know you feel that **** also plays around with guys just as much. No point denying it. Its what I'm surrounded with. Maybe that's the way girls do these days...what would I know after all...
But the difference is, she doesn't let it affect our friendship...in fact I'm barely involved in what goes on with her relationship with boys...to the extent where I feel involved if anything bad happens between them. Whether she tells other people instead...I'm fine with that. But with you...you can't keep things that happen to you to yourself...not in a bad way but because it affects you in such a way that everyone gets involved...if that makes sense.
Please don't think by using *** as an example, I'm comparing whose a better friend. This triangle thing, I'll never understand. You guys are family. You have a bond, I cannot and DO NOT wish to break. I'm friends with both of you for different reasons...and I don't like feeling as if I have to explain why I'm close to either of you.
I hate the feeling that after reading this, I've exposed feelings that were best kept hidden. That I should leave things the way the are...this is how I lose people after all...I tell them how I feel and they bail...maybe I should stop doing it. But what am I supposed to do with all these feelings inside me...bubbling inside of me. Talk to other people about it? I doubt you'd like me saying any of these things to other people...I wouldn't either.
So I'm sorry if I hurt you so much that you wish to never speak to me again. I would understand. People leave in my life all the time. Its a habit I can't break. But I don't know what else to say you to wake you up from this life you are creating for yourself. I can't 'fix' you. And that's a problem cause you know I'm a fixer. And obsessed one I guess. I know you can't fix everything, I'm not naïve. But I have no idea what else to do or say expect everything written here.
Yet again.
I'm sorry.
Love you always.
I don't know what possessed me to do this but I feel its the only way I can get things of my chest.
I'm done.
I'm done listening to your lies.
I'm done trying to be the best friend I can be to you.
All for nothing.
I get that you have a lot on your plate.
I have never ever disregarded that...
But I am sick and tired of trying to understand what exactly makes you act the way you do.
To the point where I don't know who you are anymore...
I don't think you have ever understood just how much you actually hurt not only me but others around you. Yet it doesn't seem to actually have any effect on you.
Don't get me wrong. I don't hate you. I never will. You are not a bad person. You are one of the most kind people that I know, always thinking of other before yourself. Yet the big major issue: Boys ?!
I hate that your situation with boys seem to come in between us...as if that's all being friends with you is about.
I don't actually want to go on about this. I'm done with you and your guys...I'll never understand why you can't just let guys really like you without you feeling like you have to be in a relationship with any of them. When will you give yourself a chance to be yourself without belonging to anyone else? But hey, that's you...not me.
Maybe its the desire to understand people that has kept me near you. Maybe I'm just a fool. Anyone who has been through most of what myself and others have been through with you, would have at least hated you or something. But I can never and will never bring myself to do that. Its not my point. And will never be.
But all I really want to say is that, you won't see me making any effort anymore to catch up on your life. I'm not a drama-seeking person, as interesting as life can be with drama...I don't wish to create more drama..because that's what I'd end up doing. Just like I talked to your ex..I'd end up wanting to do all that...and looking like a fool when you still go back to all your exes...
I guess we will always be friends that had great memories with one and who knows, maybe one day we might be the best of friends again. Maybe one day, I'll trust you again.
It feels like I'm saying I don't want to be friends you but all it is is...next time you want someone to talk to...even though it is already like this...just know I can't be there for you. I want to be...but I can't do it. And don't think its easy for me to do this. I feel to stop myself from even sending this to you...but I need to let go of you..I've held on too long for a perfect friendship that not only died a long time ago..but actually isn't perfect at all. Sometimes I feel like its also because you and **** are cousins that I still feel that I have to be close to you.
But no. I know you feel that **** also plays around with guys just as much. No point denying it. Its what I'm surrounded with. Maybe that's the way girls do these days...what would I know after all...
But the difference is, she doesn't let it affect our friendship...in fact I'm barely involved in what goes on with her relationship with boys...to the extent where I feel involved if anything bad happens between them. Whether she tells other people instead...I'm fine with that. But with you...you can't keep things that happen to you to yourself...not in a bad way but because it affects you in such a way that everyone gets involved...if that makes sense.
Please don't think by using *** as an example, I'm comparing whose a better friend. This triangle thing, I'll never understand. You guys are family. You have a bond, I cannot and DO NOT wish to break. I'm friends with both of you for different reasons...and I don't like feeling as if I have to explain why I'm close to either of you.
I hate the feeling that after reading this, I've exposed feelings that were best kept hidden. That I should leave things the way the are...this is how I lose people after all...I tell them how I feel and they bail...maybe I should stop doing it. But what am I supposed to do with all these feelings inside me...bubbling inside of me. Talk to other people about it? I doubt you'd like me saying any of these things to other people...I wouldn't either.
So I'm sorry if I hurt you so much that you wish to never speak to me again. I would understand. People leave in my life all the time. Its a habit I can't break. But I don't know what else to say you to wake you up from this life you are creating for yourself. I can't 'fix' you. And that's a problem cause you know I'm a fixer. And obsessed one I guess. I know you can't fix everything, I'm not naïve. But I have no idea what else to do or say expect everything written here.
Yet again.
I'm sorry.
Love you always.
Sunday 20 March 2011
Thought 18: Next Stop-Everlasting
Just how serious are we ?
Have you ever sat on a bus without knowing your destination ? Even if you had never been to your destination before, you had some idea of where you are headed, surely?
Sometimes as Christians, we lose focus of our goal, right?
We have been consumed in a world that says "Live for now, and now only"We have forgotten about our preparations for heaven and as time goes, they become less and less important, do they not ?Even the very idea of heaven seems...well, too surreal to us now, does it not?
What does this mean exactly ?Is this the time for the separation of those who actually want to go heaven and those who have a need of heaven?Is it the time where the 'tares are separated from the wheat' as the Bible says?
What are we doing to secure our place in Heaven?Or is the 'glory' of the world just too much to resist?Is the temptation, not a temptation anymore but actually part of a daily routine?
I'm reminded of a close friend. This girl, I will not expose her name because of the nature of the topic.You see, she's one of the 'good church girls'. The ones that organise everything in church, dress perfectly, sing in the choir sort of thing. The one that everyone admires for their admiration for God and for church. The one that you never ever expect to 'rebel' and join the rest of us, not doing what we KNOW is right.
When I did find out she was clubbing underage(not a crime to some people, but as a saintly church girl..completely out of character for her)..she told me she was basically tired of who she is..she just wanted to 'try' things. Not like she was going to carry on.
I recently found an incriminating photograph of her basically being groped by a male in a nightclub, of which she is underage to be in.A part of me felt to spread it around(cruel as it is) as if to say "Ha! Look at the good girl now" but I realised, there's nothing to gain from it except a nasty feeling on unnecessary 'revenge' when she never actually did anything to me. She is actually a nice person. At church, she still the same. Preaching at other people in fact, about their 'bad habits'..
You may wonder why I have included her under this...but it just shows the extent we go to cover up our real wants.
"We want the world..but we know we need Heaven"Even though we know we know we need God, we want to go to Heaven..but the effort its just too much isn't it?
Jesus being picked on, spit on, beaten, bleeding, pinned down on the cross...was just too little effort just so that me and you could get a chance to be in a world that is perfect. So perfect that we fail to imagine what it is actually like. We have been programmed to imagine things don't last, which they don't. Not in this world anyway. Why can't heaven be a place for you and me to actually want to KILL for ?Just like that celebrity's life you would KILL to live like ?Heaven is open.Are we ?Thursday 10 March 2011
Thought 17: Unsecured Insecurities
This is not personal in any way. This is just voicing out the fears that surround us. Those feelings that most don't voice out. Have and open mind and enjoy :)
Why am I not lovable?
Why can't I make anyone stay ?
Why is it always me that gets left anyway?
Why can't I get a boy to like me?
Why can't I get a girl to like me?
Why am I not pretty enough?
Why am I not handsome enough?
Will anyone ever accept me as I am?
Will anyone ever stay to see who I really am?
Does anyone care about who I really am?
Does anyone want to care ?
Why can't have a little attention?
Why do I have to be an attention seeker?
I just want to be fancied, liked, appreciated, wanted, maybe even loved?
Is it too much that I'm asking for ?
Why can't I find that one person that all their care, attention, is on me?
Is that a selfish thing to ask for?
Is that an unreasonable want ?
Is this something I can voice out loud ?
Is there ever a person for everyone?
Or are those petty reassurances to prevent one sinking into the depths of depression?
Is there ever a friend for me and just me?
Or is that just an illusion we lead ourselves to believe?
Am I going to ever find that happiness with that boy/girl?
Should I be looking for this happiness?
Will it cure my sadness?
Will it cure my wants?
I would like a friend.
Not a lover.
Just a friend.
Just for me.
And me only.
I guess there's only me.
Why am I not lovable?
Why can't I make anyone stay ?
Why is it always me that gets left anyway?
Why can't I get a boy to like me?
Why can't I get a girl to like me?
Why am I not pretty enough?
Why am I not handsome enough?
Will anyone ever accept me as I am?
Will anyone ever stay to see who I really am?
Does anyone care about who I really am?
Does anyone want to care ?
Why can't have a little attention?
Why do I have to be an attention seeker?
I just want to be fancied, liked, appreciated, wanted, maybe even loved?
Is it too much that I'm asking for ?
Why can't I find that one person that all their care, attention, is on me?
Is that a selfish thing to ask for?
Is that an unreasonable want ?
Is this something I can voice out loud ?
Is there ever a person for everyone?
Or are those petty reassurances to prevent one sinking into the depths of depression?
Is there ever a friend for me and just me?
Or is that just an illusion we lead ourselves to believe?
Am I going to ever find that happiness with that boy/girl?
Should I be looking for this happiness?
Will it cure my sadness?
Will it cure my wants?
I would like a friend.
Not a lover.
Just a friend.
Just for me.
And me only.
I guess there's only me.
Tuesday 1 March 2011
Thought 16: Africa is a Bad Country
'I'm going to try and make this as unbiased as possible...but seriously where do people get their views about other countries/continents from ?! '
They often say that "get to know someone before you can judge them"..surely this applies to countries/continents!
First and also irrelevant:
Why is it OK to call someone who is from any country within Africa, an African yet in England most refuse to be referred to as European ?
What if some preferred to be referred to be from their country of origin as well like the English?
What then ?
They often say that "get to know someone before you can judge them"..surely this applies to countries/continents!
First and also irrelevant:
Why is it OK to call someone who is from any country within Africa, an African yet in England most refuse to be referred to as European ?
What if some preferred to be referred to be from their country of origin as well like the English?
What then ?
This picture was sent to me and I thought to use this as a test as part of my investigation and the results were in fact funny. Most people could not find the 4th person, and they tended to be more Westernised than those who did find him. Some found it funny yet most found it quite offensive, and ,considered it racism. But that is for another blog!To the main course:
At this moment in time for a piece of coursework I have decided to investigate about Africa in the media. The things I'm coming up with actually make me want to cry. No joke.
Instead of google searching, I decided to ask real people as I see them, what their opinions on Africa were.
One person said "I would love to go South Africa, but it is such a dangerous place"
This may trigger anger within people from this area but it made me think.
What does it mean ?
Why are there still so many negative views of continents such as Africa and Asia?
How much of that negativity is true ?
I, myself come from Zimbabwe and I am very proud of that fact.
I hear all sorts of horrible and nasty stuff about my home country but it has never made it love it less.
Yet a fellow Zimbabwean commented saying "Africa is behind in time" when asked to elaborate, they said "As much as I love being African, I'm not proud of it. They need to become more modern, get up to date and move away from the past" I was puzzled about the way one could feel this, having left Zimbabwe at a much older age than I did. I realised that the length of time that one got accustomed to another culture, didn't actually make a difference. The mentality that a person has about their own culture is cultivated from what they actually know about that culture.
As I got deeper into discussion with this person, they showed me a view of Africa from a fellow African, I had personally not experienced before. I have met people not so proud to be African but I had never met a person who love being African yet not proud about the vast amount of culture that comes along with it. It was sad to note just how much this person almost detested being linked to Africa and its 'ancient ways'. Wow!
I guess I could turn into a psychological thing, to say that depending on how much time a person from Africa had spent here and been accustomed to the ways of the Western culture, they would either recognise the extremely dark person next to the first white boy, or not.
But as I asked around. That is pretty much the response I got.
The more exposure one has about Africa, the more they obviously learn about it.
So is it essential that people learn more about a culture, if yes, then who is more qualified to teach about the real Africa ?
Would you go to Dentist for heart problems?
So why are people being taught about Africa by people who not only have textbook knowledge but have no experience of what it is like to be from there?!
By viewing adverts of 'poor children' starving in several parts of the world, why do many assume that Africa is the first place to find such horror?
Is it not true, however that there is a great deal amount of starvation and disease in Africa?
Is it also not true that there many people orphaned and left young particularly in Africa?
If I can add a personal thought, I suppose it is difficult for a person like me to hear any negative opinions about Zimbabwe or Africa because if I'm honest, I never saw what I see on TV here. I never experienced a person dying in front of my eyes and felt helpless.
To me, yes, Africa is 'behind' modern wise, but I never knew there was anything 'wrong' with it till when I came here. Does this mean, I am naive ? Does this mean that maybe I am the one who needs educating about my country/continent?
The subject of Africa in the Media is a very controversial one. Yet what I personally find most upsetting is that fellow Africans whether by birth, origin, parents or grandparents, have no idea about the richness that Africa has without the need for it being the same 'moderness' as the Western countries.
If one not from the UK said anything negative about UK they would be told to go back to their own country, yet the amount of people that slave away, go into debt to go to these peoples countries is unimaginable!
I guess the most common thing that some people mistake often is how Africa is a continent and not a country. I wonder out of all my readers, who would have noticed the title of this blog was incorrect?
If Africa is a country, so is Europe.
Instead of google searching, I decided to ask real people as I see them, what their opinions on Africa were.
One person said "I would love to go South Africa, but it is such a dangerous place"
This may trigger anger within people from this area but it made me think.
What does it mean ?
Why are there still so many negative views of continents such as Africa and Asia?
How much of that negativity is true ?
I, myself come from Zimbabwe and I am very proud of that fact.
I hear all sorts of horrible and nasty stuff about my home country but it has never made it love it less.
Yet a fellow Zimbabwean commented saying "Africa is behind in time" when asked to elaborate, they said "As much as I love being African, I'm not proud of it. They need to become more modern, get up to date and move away from the past" I was puzzled about the way one could feel this, having left Zimbabwe at a much older age than I did. I realised that the length of time that one got accustomed to another culture, didn't actually make a difference. The mentality that a person has about their own culture is cultivated from what they actually know about that culture.
As I got deeper into discussion with this person, they showed me a view of Africa from a fellow African, I had personally not experienced before. I have met people not so proud to be African but I had never met a person who love being African yet not proud about the vast amount of culture that comes along with it. It was sad to note just how much this person almost detested being linked to Africa and its 'ancient ways'. Wow!
I guess I could turn into a psychological thing, to say that depending on how much time a person from Africa had spent here and been accustomed to the ways of the Western culture, they would either recognise the extremely dark person next to the first white boy, or not.
But as I asked around. That is pretty much the response I got.
The more exposure one has about Africa, the more they obviously learn about it.
So is it essential that people learn more about a culture, if yes, then who is more qualified to teach about the real Africa ?
Would you go to Dentist for heart problems?
So why are people being taught about Africa by people who not only have textbook knowledge but have no experience of what it is like to be from there?!
By viewing adverts of 'poor children' starving in several parts of the world, why do many assume that Africa is the first place to find such horror?
Is it not true, however that there is a great deal amount of starvation and disease in Africa?
Is it also not true that there many people orphaned and left young particularly in Africa?
If I can add a personal thought, I suppose it is difficult for a person like me to hear any negative opinions about Zimbabwe or Africa because if I'm honest, I never saw what I see on TV here. I never experienced a person dying in front of my eyes and felt helpless.
To me, yes, Africa is 'behind' modern wise, but I never knew there was anything 'wrong' with it till when I came here. Does this mean, I am naive ? Does this mean that maybe I am the one who needs educating about my country/continent?
The subject of Africa in the Media is a very controversial one. Yet what I personally find most upsetting is that fellow Africans whether by birth, origin, parents or grandparents, have no idea about the richness that Africa has without the need for it being the same 'moderness' as the Western countries.
If one not from the UK said anything negative about UK they would be told to go back to their own country, yet the amount of people that slave away, go into debt to go to these peoples countries is unimaginable!
I guess the most common thing that some people mistake often is how Africa is a continent and not a country. I wonder out of all my readers, who would have noticed the title of this blog was incorrect?
If Africa is a country, so is Europe.
Sunday 20 February 2011
Thought 15: No title
Do you feel proud ?
Do you feel good ?
What exactly is it that you are looking for?
Isn't having your cake enough, you have to eat it as well ?
Does it feel big to be you?
Do you feel like a grown woman?
How can you call yourself independent when you seem dependent on the high you get?
What is it that makes you do this?
Don't you see how other people are killing themselves to have what you have?
Don't you think I envy what you have?
Don't you see the love that you get to be more than enough ?
What do these highs give you that your love doesn't ?
If the love you have doesn't give you enough high, why don't you leave ?
Why stay on the same boat when you clearly have other destinations?
I don't dislike you for being like this
I just wish to understand the feelings that you get
Knowing the hurt you could be causing
Is it something you live with easily
Or what they don't know
Won't kill them
But you know
Doesn't it kill you ?
Do you feel good ?
What exactly is it that you are looking for?
Isn't having your cake enough, you have to eat it as well ?
Does it feel big to be you?
Do you feel like a grown woman?
How can you call yourself independent when you seem dependent on the high you get?
What is it that makes you do this?
Don't you see how other people are killing themselves to have what you have?
Don't you think I envy what you have?
Don't you see the love that you get to be more than enough ?
What do these highs give you that your love doesn't ?
If the love you have doesn't give you enough high, why don't you leave ?
Why stay on the same boat when you clearly have other destinations?
I don't dislike you for being like this
I just wish to understand the feelings that you get
Knowing the hurt you could be causing
Is it something you live with easily
Or what they don't know
Won't kill them
But you know
Doesn't it kill you ?
Thought 14: In my shoes(literally)
There is a question that goes around in most peoples minds when they get to know me.
Why do I like shoes ?
More specifically, why do I insist on wearing high heeled shoes?
It seems unimportant but it is an important part of my life.
It actually has more significant to me than making me look taller, strangely enough.
When I slide my feet into a pair of at least 5 inch shoes, there are butterflies fluttering away in my tummy. I dislike my height, although I thank God for who I am, it is not a fact that I am hugely proud of. Most people may assume that the Media has influenced this perspective as they portray the 'good looking' women to be stereotypically taller women. In some way, that may be true but my passion to be tall feels more personal than a nurtured feeling.
I know the consequences of wearing high heels like a fat girl knows about her chocolate. I wish I could explain why I carry on going against my knowledge but I cannot.
Being in heels makes me feel complete.
Being in heels makes me feel better about myself.
Being in heels makes the world seem to disappear.
Being in heels makes my legs seem longer. (Couldn't miss that one out)
In my shoes is a different point of view of the world.
In my shoes is where I find my own kind of happiness.
In my shoes I found my own kind of love.
Shoes do not get angry with you.
Shoes (hardly) never let you down.
Shoes are always therapeutic.
Shoes only make you feel guilty when you don't buy them.
Why do I like shoes ?
More specifically, why do I insist on wearing high heeled shoes?
It seems unimportant but it is an important part of my life.
It actually has more significant to me than making me look taller, strangely enough.
When I slide my feet into a pair of at least 5 inch shoes, there are butterflies fluttering away in my tummy. I dislike my height, although I thank God for who I am, it is not a fact that I am hugely proud of. Most people may assume that the Media has influenced this perspective as they portray the 'good looking' women to be stereotypically taller women. In some way, that may be true but my passion to be tall feels more personal than a nurtured feeling.
I know the consequences of wearing high heels like a fat girl knows about her chocolate. I wish I could explain why I carry on going against my knowledge but I cannot.
Being in heels makes me feel complete.
Being in heels makes me feel better about myself.
Being in heels makes the world seem to disappear.
Being in heels makes my legs seem longer. (Couldn't miss that one out)
In my shoes is a different point of view of the world.
In my shoes is where I find my own kind of happiness.
In my shoes I found my own kind of love.
Shoes do not get angry with you.
Shoes (hardly) never let you down.
Shoes are always therapeutic.
Shoes only make you feel guilty when you don't buy them.
Thought 13: HD Christians
We are in those days where..well, everything is upgraded. Or has to be upgraded otherwise things not function as they are meant to.
And well if you don't upgrade you fall behind...but as Christians where does this put us in the world? Why do try so hard to 'upgrade God' in every century that passes? If God is the same always, why do we assume that whatever we like, He will approve? Does God really care about what technology we use to spread the Word...or is the purpose to spread the Word whatever means possible, but the means surely shouldn't be the focus, right ?
Every time there's something new that the world produces, as Christians we always try and incooperate it into something we can use for the 'work of God'. Is that so wrong ? Maybe not but what's right about it ?
Does God care whether you use your iPhone4 to carry the gospel or your briefcase ?
Does God care whether He is being broadcasted to the world through 3ABN or through word of mouth ?
I'm pretty sure He doesn't mind which way the word it spread, so long it is spread.
If the people of the bible who, mind you, had not even a quarter of the technology we have now, spread the word to millions of people..why do we hesitate to do the same?
Why do we feel the need to adapt to the rest of the world, technology wise ?
"Be in the world but not of the world"
Surely this applies to us.
Surely this means we should not entwine ourselves in trying to upgrade God in order for His Word to be spread. But spread the world whatever means necessary...
Are we upgrade God then degrading the meaning of His Word ?
And well if you don't upgrade you fall behind...but as Christians where does this put us in the world? Why do try so hard to 'upgrade God' in every century that passes? If God is the same always, why do we assume that whatever we like, He will approve? Does God really care about what technology we use to spread the Word...or is the purpose to spread the Word whatever means possible, but the means surely shouldn't be the focus, right ?
Every time there's something new that the world produces, as Christians we always try and incooperate it into something we can use for the 'work of God'. Is that so wrong ? Maybe not but what's right about it ?
Does God care whether you use your iPhone4 to carry the gospel or your briefcase ?
Does God care whether He is being broadcasted to the world through 3ABN or through word of mouth ?
I'm pretty sure He doesn't mind which way the word it spread, so long it is spread.
If the people of the bible who, mind you, had not even a quarter of the technology we have now, spread the word to millions of people..why do we hesitate to do the same?
Why do we feel the need to adapt to the rest of the world, technology wise ?
"Be in the world but not of the world"
Surely this applies to us.
Surely this means we should not entwine ourselves in trying to upgrade God in order for His Word to be spread. But spread the world whatever means necessary...
Are we upgrade God then degrading the meaning of His Word ?
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