Thought 22:Whose my best friend ?

Samantha

I'm in bad mood.

Angry.

Upset.

Sad.

Just want to cry.

But no tears are forming in my eyes.

I want someone to talk to.

I NEED someone to talk to.

But who?

I can't think of a single person that I feel I can speak to right now.

I know my mood is just silly.

And it will pass.

Then I'll be okay again.

But that got me thinking.

Who do I actually turn to when I'm down and upset.

Yes, I have great friends. No point trying to play victim and say noone loves me.

But surely when you feel down there's that one person you know will make you feel better nomatter how small or how serious the problem is.

Nyorovai

Do I have that person?

I mean do I have a person that I can relate with on such a deep level that its as if they know how I'm feeling without me having to open my mouth.

Do any of us have these friends?

Or do we just fool ourselves into believing that we can truly trust people with our lives. When clearly the feelings are never reflected back.

Why do we have a need to want someone so close to speak to.

Is this where God steps in?

He is supposed to be the greatest Friends you have ever had right?

Lauren

Isn't He supposed to know exactly how we feel since He is all knowing?

But why do we still yearn for so much more.

Someone who skin we can feel.

Whose being can be seen with our eyes.

Sometimes I feel like I want so much from my friends. More than they can give. Because I believe that I give my all. Yet I feel like noone gives me their all.

But surely one of my friends would beg to differ and say they feel the same about me.

Friends do come and go, yes I get that. Hell, I push people to go before their time.

Tapiwa

But why are we built with that wanting for companion.

Yes, some may proclaim that they prefer their own company. But sooner or later. We all need somebody.

Whether you choose God or a mere human being...


Who really is your best friend?

Mweete

Taffy

Alice

Hawawu

Anne

Patience

Essie

Sharol

Writers Block...Writing Blues...Writers Whatever

To be quite frankly honest...I want to write so so much!
I don't want to write little paragraphs anymore...I want to write something big.
Something huge.
I want to go back to story writing.
To writing with so much emotion that made my teachers cry.
But I'm slacking.
Even for just general blogging.
I think this is because most of my inspirations came from emotionally charged events within my life.
Whether it was a good time or bad time. I always found some sort of 'lesson' I'd learnt and would want to share with people. And from there more things would come up.
These days.
I have no idea what is happening with me!
I am getting a few inspirations...but they are not going anywhere.
I don't feel like I am giving my best.
I wish I could find exactly what I want from this writing business.
Am I even a good writer?
I'm not in one of those 'my life is crap' mood.
Just questioning myself on what my interests are and what I want to do them.

All of this had come from the fact that at this right moment in time.
I am likely to be sitting at home everyday for the next four months.
Jobs don't seem to like me.
I have no previous experience.
I don't even know how to 'sell myself' to get jobs.
So I guess, I'm slightly giving up on finding a proper job.
And have had a few ideas for things I could do instead.
But me being me...I can't seem to find the push I need to pursue my ideas further.
I guess my biggest is and has always been 'Is this even a good idea?!'
I know that I wont know until I try, but sometimes it feels to easy to just give up and try look another idea...which I would give up on and so on and so forth.

I love writing.
But I also love singing...yet I can never ever bring myself to even sing in front of a crowd bigger than my family of 7...simply because I tell myself that I am not talented enough.
I know its no use being so negative...but I think I'm scared to face my fears and I have no idea what to do.

As always, I've started with a topic and then digressed into others. Just like in my head...probably why I never get things done...too many ideas and to sure which one to begin with. So why not all of them -_-

Just wish I knew what I wanted and how to get to it.
*Sigh*